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Dear Sons

Dear Sons

Dear Sons,

If your grandmother has anything to say, she will tell you that your father is a very strange man. She will say that I think I am different. She might even say "your father thinks he knows everything. He thinks he is the boss of me." This is not true. If you know your grandmother, then you already know that she is not fond of others telling her how things work. Does this remind you of anybody you know? There are a few lessons I would like to share with you not because I don't think you'll figure them out but because I want you to know that I was once in your shoes.

The first lesson I want you to learn is that society has set the odds against you from the start. Please understand that your God, as well as mine, does not agree with society. However, you will need to believe and have faith in him to overcome society. If you haven't already, you will come to realise that the colour of your skin has a significant role in how society perceives you. This is true even in Africa. As long as I live, I will do all I can to break barriers for you. Do not take what the Lord has blessed you with for granted. Do not let others tell you what you cannot achieve. You are men who make their own decisions, based on the facts presented not based on someone else's conclusions of said facts.

Gentlemen, if I have done anything to make you question your potentials, I sincerely apologise. I lived my life under the shadow of a puzzle that was my father. I knew my father and his legacy. However, I learnt more about my father from others. So you see, unlike you, the most important things I knew about him were from people who knew him before I did. I promise this will not be the case with you. I vow to make sure that not only do you know me and who I am, but your children and their generations to come will also know who I was.

So here is your second lesson, I am not your life's goal. I am only a marker. So do not aspire to be like me. Be better than me. Achieve all that I failed to. Achieve them on your own terms. I will push you. I will not always acknowledge the little things. Not because they are not worthy of praise, but because you can do so much more. More than I could ever dream of. I am sorry if you think I'm too harsh when it concerning your morals. The truth is, I want you to be the best version of yourselves. I do not want you to fear what others might think of your morals. Be firm in them and remember that the only one who can judge you is yourself.

Thirdly, I am not an expert when it comes to matters of the heart. Nonetheless, I have a lesson to share with you on the subject. You will hurt someone one day. You will be hurt too. This is not the end. I know it may feel that way and you may not want to reach out to me when it does happen. But I can assure you, that when that day comes; I will be able to tell. So will the people who love you. Don't ask me how but the people who love me were able to say. I may offer to take you out camping, shooting, running, or on a weekend trip away. I may even try one of the silly things you've always wanted me to. This is my way of asking you if you'll like to talk about it. You may not want to, but trust me, you will appreciate me being there. Fellas, if you break a woman's heart, please find a way to seek forgiveness. You have to be able to forgive yourself as well. If you truly love that person, then you must do everything you can to win them back. Sometimes, you've lost them forever, and that's okay. Life can be very lonely without the ones you love.

The fourth lesson has to do with your priorities. Live your lives in this order GOD, FAMILY, and COUNTRY. You should be United in One, Protecting All. This is what your crest means. Remember that I am only your father and I am human. I cannot move the Earth for you but I sure as heck will give it a good nudge. What I'm trying to say is that your Heavenly Father will never fail you even when I do. This is the reason why the Family yields only to God. At times, to protect the Family, you must defend the Country. Be sure to always be there for your siblings, whether you are the oldest or not. You represent a mix of cultures, beliefs, and experiences. The blood that runs through me runs through each of you. Never forget that. It does not matter what society might say about your family, do not allow it to dictate the bond you share. If you are to bring your partners into the family, be ready to defend them against everything. Families are not perfect; we will have things to say. But if you love your partners, know that we do too. 

Sons, remember that everything has a beginning and an end. Life is no exception. When my time comes, know that I go without regrets. I trust in each of you. You can never disappoint me. Knowing this, use every single minute to pursue your dreams. Dream big, crazy, and out of the box. Remember, "When you want something all the universe conspires to help you achieve It." -- The Alchemist. The last thing I want to share with you is that YOU ARE GANDA MEN, each first of your names.  Do not let society's definition of a man fit you into a mould. Be your own definition of the man you want to be. I will love you no matter what. If you ever wonder why it's simple, YOU ARE MY SONS.

Your Loving Father

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