Episode 4: Men Hurt Too
In this week's episode, I started with a simple question. What does it mean to be a man? I know there is no simple answer to this question, so I am eager to read what my listeners have to say.
I was born a man, but even I cannot tell you definitively what it means to be a man. Scratch that, I cannot give you an answer that will satisfy everyone. Anyway, who cares about satisfying everyone? No, honestly who does? That was not a rhetorical question. If you are concerned about satisfying everyone, please let me know how that's going for you so far. As you listen to this episode, you will notice that I have created segments for the show and also that my voice continues to sound like I'm half asleep.
Okay, let's delve into what society says a man should be. Society says that men are strong, impervious to emotions, they should be fighters, protectors, lovers, kind, fierce, dominating yet understanding.
When a man opens up to a woman, he's whipped, he's soft, he's not a real man. Men should be loyal, not wimps, or snitches. There's this myth going around that real men don't cry ( I don't know if you've met me, but I cry). Even King T'Challa cried. They say real men are not scared and real men don't hesitate. The list goes on and on. I am sure you readers and listeners have more you can add to this. By the way, at what point do I get to create a name for my audience and followers? Too soon? Okay, fine, I will ask by episode 10.
This was another solo episode, but I really felt it was the right time to address this issue. I see my oldest son go through this identity struggle every day. He is trying to be this man his family is telling him to be yet he considers the things his schoolmates are getting into. After moving to the United States to live with me, I have seen how he's grown into his own and is trying to fit in with boys his age. I've caught him rushing to pull up his pants before he gets into the house. He's experimenting with his haircuts now, and all of a sudden, dad is not a good barber (he's right, but I refuse to accept it).
Back to the episode, I talked about how different groups are defining manhood in ways that benefit those particular groups. For example, in a relationship, a real man is expected to show his emotions. A vulnerable man is a caring man. A man who cries is in touch with his feminine side, and that is just so cute. All of a sudden, real men don't hurt their women, real men don't cheat, real men show emotions, real men are not afraid of relationships. Real men handle their business.
When a man is with his boys, being a man means you have to be tough. You cannot afford to show emotions because it will show weakness. When you break a woman's heart, she's told that you're just a man. The sad thing about all this is that the next generation of men has become so confused. The media is saying one thing, your mother is saying another, your friends are too, and so is your father. Who or what do you listen to? That is the question. When a man tells a woman that he hurts too, his words are usually met with laughter. He is supposed to be strong why would he be hurt. When this same man is not affected by her actions, he is a heartless bastard and does not care. Well while you guys are deciding what it is that your real men should be doing, let me share something with you. I am just a man. You can drop the real part. A man will never fit this mould you've created that is known as real men. You can't change the definition of real men just so it meets your current needs.
Jump on over to listen to the episode. Please do not forget to review and subscribe on iTunes.
Please share with your friends or your enemies, I don't judge.